My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
