road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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