after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
