He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
