Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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