Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
