They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
