shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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