I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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