we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
