But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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