If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
