i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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