I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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