Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
