Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
