watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
