What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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