That's intense
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All the doctor said was why
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
