how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
