Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
