Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
