NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
