shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
