Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
