I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
