You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
