we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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