Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
