Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
