He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
