I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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