yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
