Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
