You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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