So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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