dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
