I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
