i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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