I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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