a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
