no, he came in my armpit
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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