Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize