I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
