We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
