I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
