so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
