after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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