He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
