Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
