But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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