FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
