Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
