i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
