okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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