having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
