He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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