How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
