and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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