I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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