It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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