Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize